All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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