i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
