how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
