Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
