Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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