some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
