My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
