Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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