She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
