I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
