Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize