I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
