TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
