The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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