So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
