There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
