This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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