you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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