weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
is it fun? or sober?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
