it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize