he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
