Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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