i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
