it's too hot outside to masturbate.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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