Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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