WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
