i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
