I am in a vortex of obligation.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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