so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
