You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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