Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize