he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
