i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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