I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
