Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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