Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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