If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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