I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
