I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
