A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
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I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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