ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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