I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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