I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When did angry sex become our thing?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
