So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
