Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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