Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
