god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I love you.
Bad choice
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
