Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize