Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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