don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
