i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize