NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
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It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
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I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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