just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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