even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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