dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
