if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
