Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
