i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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