I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
