I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
