Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
