Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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