So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
